Who knew how much I would need my own advice after publishing last week’s post! This week took it out of me, especially because we’ve been packing up to go on our first trip as a family of four to the Pacific Northwest. Wish us luck! In case you missed it, you can find Part 1 here. Apparently, I have too much time on my hands to think while nursing and soothing babies because, yes indeed, part 3 (the final part) is coming next week…

Repeat after me, “This soon shall pass,” and repeat again as many times as needed. The first few months are just tiring, and hard, and stressful, and you’ll feel like you’ll never sleep again in your whole life. I’m always giving a tired smile to all the well-meaning grandmothers out there who tell me to “Enjoy it!” because it goes too quickly. I want to remind them of how exhausting it all is! Sometimes I just want to fast forward a few years because it feels like I’ll be changing poopy diapers, soothing babies to sleep, and never having a free moment to myself ever again… but then I remember, it doesn’t last forever. And I also remember that I really do love babies, so I try to savor as many moments as I can.

You don’t have a lot of it, so you’ve gotta be strategic about free time. I don’t mean any complicated sort of plan, but things like going to the bathroom, drinking water, and eating a snack should be the top things you do when you have any sort of moment to yourself. You don’t want to get stuck putting a baby back to sleep 5 minutes into sweeping the floor (or something random like that) when you realize you really should have gone pee.

I have a baby who sleeps like an angel at night, but for some reason, is a horrible napper during the day. I’ve learned to change things up often with how I help Caleb sleep. He might sleep really well in his swing for a few days, then hate it. He almost always loves being in the ergo (best baby carrier ever). But things change often with this boy, and so I try to change as well. Otherwise, I find myself frustrated.

If you can handle it, take about 5-10 minutes over the weekend to think about what your family will be eating for dinner each night that week. It gives you one less decision to make when dinner time comes around, and that, is a very good thing when you’re exhausted.

And before you even get to that point, in the early weeks, have a friend set up a meal delivery system for you. It takes a little bit of time to gather emails to add to the list, but it’s so worth it. My favorite site is MealBaby. I had absolutely no capacity or time to cook for the first…. 6 weeks? I don’t even remember, it’s all a blur. My husband would also request that all people asking to visit come with a meal. He’s a smart one, that husband of mine.

While we’re talking about my better half, one of the things that surprised me most in the family of four adjustment was how little Pat and I got to talk. Even when he was on paternity leave, it felt like each of us was always occupied by a baby during every waking moment. I felt like I had no idea how he was doing, and I had about a billion thoughts that I never got to share. Carve out little chunks of husband time. Even just 5-10 minutes to connect a little. These days, Pat and I try to schedule weekly meetings with each other. How romantic right? They’re times for us to share what’s on our mind and say all the things that we hadn’t had the chance to before. We often add some excitement to the meeting by sharing some dessert or a cocktail together. The cocktail especially can really get the conversation going!

And during one of those meetings, figure out how you will have regular alone, away from babies time. Pat and I had this conversation just a few weeks ago, and now Saturday mornings are “me time.” Off I go for a few hours to do whatever I want to do. Two Saturdays ago I treated myself to breakfast at a cute farm-to-table spot downtown and spent time writing out thoughts in my journal and listening to music. I ate slowly (I don’t even know the last time I had time for this) and savored the time to reflect. It felt like a luxury, and I am sure that these times away each week will help me be a better mother and wife.

Read on, Part 3.