And because I had way too many thoughts to squeeze into one… okay two posts, here is part three of how we’ve managed to survive these last few months with two little ones. In case you missed it, here is part 1 and part 2. 

Having people to walk alongside in this journey of parenting is really important. If you don’t have it, create community. I mentioned in a previous post that I found this blog post really thought provoking. These days, I’ve been feeling so lucky to have an amazing group of moms that the kids and I get to see regularly at our neighborhood park. They’re awesome. Gianna loves them and their babies, and I get some really helpful mommy talk. I’m able to share about hilarious things that Gianna is saying, talk openly about how dang hard things are sometimes, and just have listening ears that really get it. I’m not sure how many moms might hang out at your local park, but we feel really lucky to have what we found.

One of my good friends and mentors asked me some really helpful questions to think about before Caleb was born. One of them challenged me to consider whether I would let creativity or expectations guide the way that I parent my children. Since being asked that question, I’ve realized that I make a lot of decisions based on these expectations I have in my head about what I should be doing, as a mother and wife. And as you can imagine, it’s really tiring. When Caleb wasn’t taking the 1.5 hour long naps that he was “supposed” to be taking (based on books I read and other babies I was hearing about), I was getting really frustrated. It was also hard that I just wasn’t able to have the house clean and a homemade dinner waiting on the table when my husband came home. I’m glad I remembered this conversation with my friend, because I quickly learned from experience that  thinking creativity about how to parent and manage the household is incredibly freeing and also, fun. When I’m hitting a wall, I try to creatively consider different options. These days, we have friends coming over for playdates at our home so that Caleb can have consistent naps in his crib. It’s also not uncommon now for my husband to do the grocery shopping, something I would have never imagined happening.

And on the same note of expectations, I find it hard to believe that my cute little children, who I love from the deepest parts of my heart and would give up anything for, are the very ones who can bring out the greatest frustration in me. There are moments where I feel like I just can’t take it anymore. After giving it some thought, I realized that a lot of my frustration in parenting comes from having those high expectations for myself and my children. Expectations like, Gianna will a well-behaved toddler and I will make all the right parenting decisions every time. Right. They’re unrealistic and when they’re not met, they lead me to believe I’ve failed. It’s helpful for me to acknowledge what the expectations are. I daily have to be aware of them and release them to God. For me, prayer is my source of sustenance in this crazy world of parenting.

If it makes you feel better, take a minute to put on a little makeup or paint your nails! Personally, this helps me feel a little more put together, when everything around me feels crazy. Like, the moments where I’m holding both Gianna and Caleb in my lap as they’re WAILING. Yes, that happens more often than I would like. I had painting my nails as a goal for about 2 weeks before it actually happened. I was very proud of myself for making it happen.

When you’re trying to put baby down for a nap, know that all forces of the universe can and will be against you. Like, jack hammers going off across the street or people ringing the doorbell. Especially if you’re on a walk, somehow all the loud, obnoxious birds are out and all the gardeners decide to start their lawnmowers and blowers right when you’re walking by. It’s just going to happen, try not to take it personally.

At the end of the day, all you want to do is zone out in front of the TV or on Facebook, but try to spend a few minutes before you drift off to sleep thinking about what you are grateful for from the day. I do my best to practice a form of prayer called the Daily Examen which guides you to reflect on different parts of the day. One of the steps is to “review the day with gratitude.” At the end of the day, I start from the beginning and consider the things that I’m thankful for. I don’t always get that far before starting to nod off, but no matter how long spent, taking the time to remember all the things you are thankful for gives some helpful and important perspective on hard, crazy days.